Clear to partly cloudy. Low 41F. Winds light and variable..

Clear to partly cloudy. Low 41F. Winds light and variable.

I met Slasher many years ago when I was a teenager and we became fast friends. I was attracted to him because he had a way of urging me to slow down, ponder what I was doing, saying, or thinking and don’t let anyone drive you into an anger that causes a fist fight where a loss of blood and maybe a friendship is the outcome.

When I asked him how he got the nickname “Slasher,” he indicated that former friends who had an attitude of “my way or the highway” and “speed always wins over slow and cautious” had resulted in a blood bath.

Slasher noted it was never his fault but he insisted he had a right to defend himself. He explained it as a situation where “if they pressed me too hard and moved too fast, my only choice was a slash.”

Over the years we spent together, I admit I became a calmer person who was more interested in calm and easy rather than fast and potentially dangerous. Despite having a lot of fist fights for various reasons when I was younger, I now consider myself a person who has learned a lesson, although I occasionally have those thoughts of anger that almost drive me to attack but the thought of blood stops me.

It’s because I’m just not as quick now as I was in my younger years.

Anyway, I have always nicknamed my straight razors “Slasher” and he and his friends have served me well in teaching me to go slow and think about what I’m doing so I don’t draw blood.

Occasionally I nick myself and mumble “it’s not your fault, Slasher. I’m thinking about those telemarketers and they make me angry enough to throw punches!”

I’m guessing most of you think this Old Codger is nuts because I talk to my razor, and I also have an electric razor who quietly does his job and lets Slasher do the talking. So none of you talk to your straight razors?

Maybe you should try it because I would bet the ranch that you’ve had several hundred or more slashes than I’ve had over the last 50 years! And I also talk to other inanimate objects at times.

Stop looking at me like that! What is wrong with you people! You’re just not normal.

Bob Derr, the Old Codger, lives in Selinsgrove.

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